Why Founder Conflict Can Sink Startups—And How to Navigate It
When people talk about why startups fail, the usual culprits pop up: running out of money, missing product-market fit, or launching at the wrong time. But there’s another silent killer that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: founder conflict.
At a recent Startup Grind Sacramento event, business consultant and coach Jean Blomo joined us to shine a light on this issue. With over a decade of experience helping leaders and teams improve communication, Jean shared practical strategies every founder should know if they want to keep their startup—and their relationships—intact.
Conflict Isn’t Always the Problem
Jean made it clear from the start: conflict itself isn’t bad. In fact, when handled well, disagreements can actually strengthen co-founder relationships and improve decision-making. The danger comes when conflict is ignored or handled poorly.
Warning signs of unhealthy conflict include:
Shouting matches in front of the team.
Silent treatment or communication breakdowns.
Co-founders only speaking through intermediaries.
The key isn’t to eliminate conflict—it’s to learn how to handle it constructively.
Where Startups Get Stuck
Certain topics reliably trigger conflict in startups, including:
Company direction – disagreements about vision and priorities.
Fundraising – how much to raise, from whom, and under what terms.
Equity splits – whether ownership fairly reflects contributions.
Workload balance – perceptions of who’s pulling their weight.
These aren’t minor issues. Left unresolved, they can become deal-breakers.
Understanding Conflict Styles
Jean highlighted three common conflict styles founders fall into:
Assertive – eager to resolve issues quickly and directly.
Withdrawn – prefers time and space before addressing conflict.
Responsible – seeks rules, structure, and the “right” process.
Knowing your default style—and your co-founder’s—can help you build empathy and approach conflict with more awareness.
A Framework That Works
Jean introduced the group to Nonviolent Communication (NVC)—a method designed to turn confrontations into constructive conversations. The process involves:
Set your intention – Be clear about what you want to achieve.
Make an observation – Stick to the facts, not assumptions.
Share the impact – Explain how the issue affects you.
Make a request – Ask for specific, actionable steps.
Follow up – Revisit the issue to ensure it’s resolved.
Sometimes, simply saying “I need you to hear my stress right now” can change the entire tone of a conversation.
Plan for Conflict Before It Happens
One of Jean’s most valuable recommendations: don’t wait until things blow up. Just as startups create equity agreements, they should also create conflict agreements—a playbook for how founders will disagree, argue, and recover when tension arises.
Think of it as “couples counseling for business partners.” When you’re spending more time with your co-founder than your spouse, having a shared conflict framework isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Key Takeaways
Conflict isn’t bad—silence is.
Recognize your own conflict style and your co-founder’s.
Use frameworks like NVC to guide tough conversations.
Build agreements for how to handle conflict while things are going well.
Bring in a neutral third party when necessary.
As Jean reminded us, assuming positive intent changes everything. At the end of the day, most founders want the same thing: to build something great.
Handouts
About Jean Blomo
Jean Blomo is a coach and facilitator who helps leaders and their high-performing teams strengthen communication, navigate conflict, and lead with clarity.
She’s known for creating high-trust spaces where tough conversations become opportunities for individual and collective growth. Before launching her consulting practice, Jean worked in the publishing, fitness, and nonprofit sectors giving her a uniquely cross-functional lens on how teams work, grow, and thrive.
